Tweetie Talk

爱和喜欢

2009-01-29T03:07:00.003+08:00

Read this post from a friend's blog today... it really made me think.*ouch*你能分清楚爱和喜欢吗？喜歡和愛咫尺千里。當你喜歡一個人時，你想和他在一起，因為他會帶給你快樂；離開後，你會想念，想著想著就會笑，然後繼續你平靜的生活，並期待著與他再一次重逢。當你愛一個人時，你想和他在一起，那是一種牽腸掛肚的捨不得，怕他受委屈，怕他不能好好照顧自己；離開後，你也會想念，想著想著歎一口氣，'不知他現在過的怎樣？'然後你繼續你平靜的生活，希望他早日回到你身邊。你喜歡的人在你眼中是天使，無所不能，他總會滿足你的任性的要求。你愛的人在你眼中是孩子，傻傻的，你不期望他做出什麼'好事' 來，只一味縱容他那些讓人哭笑不得的舉動。你會希望你喜歡的人陪著你，然而你心中想的可能是你愛的人；你會希望陪在你愛的人身邊，

New Blog : Tweetietouille!!!

2008-10-03T00:20:00.001+08:00

Sorry I've not been here for sometime.. though yes, there's been again, many sad and broken moments since... for matters of the heart.However, I've decided to start a new blog, something more "current" that I can share with my new friends without opening them to all my deep dark moments of the past.So, everyone, you are most welcome (yes I insist!!!!) to my new blog, Tweetietouille!!http://

Tweetie in a Dress. Hot or not?

2008-07-06T07:27:00.002+08:00

At St James Movida - Fri 4 July 2008 Don't I look super yummy? Yes, super KNS too but who cares!!!!I will tell the story of how this sexy dress came about, soon..... hahaha!!

A New Life Begins! Nooo I'm not pregnant! LOL!

2008-07-05T14:44:00.000+08:00

Phwew~!!!!! OMG The past week has been such a rollercoaster ride!!! UPWARDS!!!And I definitely need to blog. Life events have again run me over and if I really wanna keep this blog as my memory lane and journal i had better start some discipline in keep the entries updated!!! Otherwise a huge part of my life will be gone with the lost memories! (Bcos i have short term memory and bad memory

I'll Move On

2008-06-27T04:24:00.001+08:00

I crashed... today down all the way. Just crushed.. totally.. - after the final conversatin with him.I believe.. the crying over him will end.. very soon.I have finally reached rock bottom...........Thats all I can utter at this moment.I only have tears..Let that part of my heart die, so it feels the pain no more.So I can move on.I'll move on.Song : I'll Move On - Lyrics and song by Olivia

Song: When You Tell Me You Love Me

2008-06-15T18:08:00.002+08:00

Came across this beautiful song that tugged at my hopeless romantic heartstrings.Well, I'm definitely gonna hold on to the hope that I will meet the right guy some day. But that means, I'll still have to keep on meeting men, right? But yeah, the experiences I've had should have made me wiser (though sadder, haha!) and more selective, and learned to take things slower.I pray, that I will meet you

Cracked Pot Story

2008-06-15T16:20:00.003+08:00

Got this in my gmail inbox from someone ... something I've read before in the past - but at this point in my life, it brought great encouragement.I think people close to me and those who read this blog.. you'll probably know by now that I will grab anything to lift myself up when I'm down and trodden (Mmm... only after I'm done with my whining and crying, grieving and mourning, pity party and

Bad Day - Friday the 13th!!! O_o

2008-06-14T03:06:00.001+08:00

Sigh.. this can't go on!!I must bury this once and for all!!I really have no idea this thing really hit me so hard this time... sigh... How can it be??On thinking back, I've only known him for a month. We've met up only 4 times in total!! Moreover, 1st 3 times, its not even a date!!!! The 1st time, we met for lunch and coffee to discuss something that he wanted my opinion for pertaining to some

Autumn Rain

2008-06-13T00:53:00.000+08:00

Chatted online with him tonight..Felt like old friends again, just bitching daily stuff.Finally I can't withold what's suppressed within me for days and shared with him how I was feeling about the situation.His answer, caused my tears to fall like rain.My decision : To close the door, to walk on, and not look back. March on... till I see the sun.. till I see the rainbow once again.And..I got my

Foolish

2008-06-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

Have just spoken with him over the phone... this morning..He sounded so tired, so exhausted. I think the poor fella must have been so busy with work and his new business that he is burning himself out.Sigh,..I feel foolish now. hur-hur...Yet I wonder, is this the standard I should settle for and expect from a man who deserves me?Are men like that?Most probably it is not intentional of him to "

March On

2008-06-11T23:35:00.002+08:00

This is a song I heard recently, that I found encouraging...Well, will be nice if its dedicated to me by someone else - but then again, why wait for someone to come and encourage you when you have the ability to pull yourself up and encourage yourself?I could survive and not turn into an unhappy depressive bitter person because I have learn to encourage myself, face my own ugliness and weaknesses

Autumn Sky

2008-06-10T23:48:00.002+08:00

Hmmm.... Autumn.... Read the poem Chipmunk Prince wrote for his Princess tonight, and felt especially sentimental. It's so beautifully written, each word combined with another to bring forth such meaning and depth of expression. I was never quite someone into poetry, but I have come to truly appreciate what he writes daily. That's because of the story and reason behind each poem - that makes it

Heart Matters

2008-06-09T00:20:00.001+08:00

Thoughts are kinda in a jumble, so are emotions.Is it for real? Could it be true this time?Love.....I want to believe in it, yet I lack the courage to just fall into it, to rest and be assured, to embrace it. I feel afraid.. afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to be a fool again, afraid to be deeply disappointed, afraid that its another passing cloud, afraid of another wolf in sheep clothing which I

Such Injustice!!! Such Bullies!!!!

2008-05-27T10:55:00.000+08:00

Sighhhh.... I'm Soooooooo UPSET!!!!!!I really hate those bullies!!!!!!!On 15 Nov 2006 .... that's bloody more than a year and half ago, I was about to turn out from the carpark at my HDB estate when a white Honda Wish drove in and wanted to turn into the carpark. Naturally, I braked and stop to give the right of way to the white car... BUT!!!! THE FUCKING WHITE HONDA WISH SWERVE SO CLOSE TO MY

So disappointed

2008-05-25T02:55:00.000+08:00

After waiting for too long, finally got a call this afternoon while I was out with mum for some lunch and english tea at Forsters, Holland V.The consultant from Search Agency informed me that the company I've been interviewing with had to put the position on hold due to a recent acquisition by their Parent Company. This means that they will inherit an additional 20+ people in Singapore and they

Feeling small and insecure

2008-05-08T16:33:00.003+08:00

Never thought I'll feel this way, what overcame me?Just returned from interviewng a candidate for my replacement, done over lunch together with boss and the FM. That's what we usually do for a 2nd interview, in a casual setting. More or less, I think Charlie will offer the position to J.Lim, she's the one who does not have the "emotional" dimension in her personality. She seems to be the perfect

What a blunder!!! What a boo boo!!!

2008-05-04T02:28:00.002+08:00

Urrggghhhhh... how could I?????!!!Bloody shit, that is terrible of me!! I feel so damn lousy now!!! SHIT!! SHIT!! SHIT!!!!!*BIG SIGH~* -_-Now what have I done? That is cruel and careless and I don't think I can live with it. Can't!*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Met up with Kurt for a movie tonight.Some background on who's Kurt :He's the last guy I dated, 3 weeks back on 17 April - the same fateful day I was

Give me a new rainbow

2008-05-02T10:44:00.001+08:00

Just need to post a short one to get some stuff out of my system.I find that I no longer enjoy coming in to work, and each day now gives me new frustration. Well, of course, this has very much to do with the fact that I'll be leaving. Yet, because of the state of affairs, I began to feel sensitive about some things, and this really bothers me because I fail to be cool and gracious and big -

Chivas is good for Tweetie's soul

2008-04-29T19:13:00.004+08:00

Just can't contain the misery I felt within my soul anymore...Today has been a tearful day at the office - mine, of course, in silence.. grateful for the privacy of my own office. Sigh, soon this priviledge would be gone. But I'll be moving on to something better, I hope. Heartaches for the money flew away due to my stubborn stupidity & blindness as well as the pain of being manipulated and taken

Greater courage for tomorrow

2008-04-17T17:40:00.002+08:00

Boss came into my office this morning with a solemn face, and gave me some bad news.The bad news is..... my job will also have to come under the axe in the next phase of "integration" and restructuring for the Asia organisation, and there is no way he could justify for a Regional HR Manager in the "new" asia organisation... (Geez, when I joined 2yrs ago, we have abt 100 people for whole of AP,

To hide and heal, I will

2008-04-15T20:00:00.000+08:00

For the past few days, I have spent a lot of moments in deliberation. Thinking deeply, searching deeply, asking myself what's happening within my soul, what am I feeling? Why do I feel this way? What can I do about it? How do I change the way I think so I can can cope, or keep going through this tunnel? Disappointment, Discouragement, Disheartened, Despair, Dismay, Disgust, Disillusioned.. And I

Wow its been almost a year!!!

2008-04-13T04:08:00.001+08:00

Wow, time flies, and its been almost a year since I last blogged here!!! LOL!!!And oh my, everyone must still be reading that I had a fight with my mum.. heheheheh, actually, the very afternoon we had the fight, we're already back to talking terms in the next evening (uh... so I discovered, after publishing the last post). It surprised me greatly that mum took it well, in fact, took it like a man

11/04 . Living up to my imperfect human self

2007-04-11T10:59:00.000+08:00

I had a major shouting match with mum yesterday that resulted in her hurling her mobile phone at me and almost cutting me off as daughter. It is still about boundary issues, and this time I really stood my ground. Its almost the first time I shouted at the top of my lungs back at her as much as she was shouting at me at the top of her lungs. I refused to be intimidated and I refused to back off.I

9/04 . A quick catch-up on watz happenin'

2007-04-09T18:51:00.000+08:00

Gee, its been quite some time since I last blogged.. and again, so much has taken place in my life... So here's a quick update on the major things happening in my life lately :For a start, I'm now cleanly over with my relationship with Cupcake (Paul Burdon) my first boyfriend and sweetheart. He has agreed to stop contacting me and we've not been in contact for a month. He sent me a really sweet

28/02 . Tweetie back on Yahoo 360!

2007-02-28T18:25:00.000+08:00

Yay~!! Tweetie is now back on Yahoo 360... and this time it has been so much fun!I made new friends, and they have been a fun and interesting lot. I am also truly glad that Carol, aka Princess, is still there, and with me back, she started to be active on her page again!I had began blogging fun and this time it is different. This time it is for me. Yes, though I still will not speak much of what

21/02 . Moving tweetie talk again sigh..

2007-02-21T14:21:00.000+08:00

Yes, as the title suggests, I'm moving tweetie talk, my precious blog, once again. Tweetie needs to chirp or tweet its feeble woeful cheeeps in private, this time, really away from him... something I had been dragging my feet to do. *sobs*I think this time I am ending my contact with Paul for good.I had still kept it open for friendship, more bcos i love him and didn't wanna just end up strangers

01/02 . Tweetie shall chirp again!

2007-02-01T23:08:00.000+08:00

Today is 1st February.... the beginning of a new month.Yes, today I end my depression over the failure of my 1st romantic relationship... one that I have fully immersed myself in for the past 6 months. In fact, 2 more days and it would have been our 7th month anniversary... I'm sad that we didn't even made it to one year. But I cannot imagine dragging the pain on to one year either.Read some

01/02 . Baby Daniel is born!

2007-02-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

Yay~!!! Just got news from my darling brother that my 2nd nephew is born! Erm... well, just some info overload... he's born 1st Feb 2007, 9.15pm, 3.225kg. YAY!!!!!!!!!Wow, what a fabulous day it has been! A celebration of life!I love you already, baby Daniel!Hug-hug from Aunty Viv!!!I'll post a pic of you here soon, I promise!

29/01 . Dad's 70th birthday !!

2007-01-29T23:29:00.000+08:00

Happy 70th Birthday to you DAD~!Wow!! Dad turns 70 today... what an achievement!Hmm.. I should write a tribute to dad... but heh... I've been too depressed lately to do any special planning or write any nice stuff, sigh~ however, this is what we did to celebrate dad's 70th birthday!We went for dinner, full family --with baby David (including baby Daniel who will be born soon), to the OUTBACK

29/01 . Chin up, babe... Back straight, Tummy out!

2007-01-29T11:31:00.000+08:00

It's time to bring some cheer back to this precious blog of mine.Blogger has now upgraded itself with cool new features, hence last night I did a little upgrading to my template... just a few small minor touches to the colours. It now allows me to add a picture directly from the computer, I love that! Too bad I can't locate one that really fit perfectly to the mood of Tweetietalk... but, this pic

28/01 . Adjust, Change, Simplify

2007-01-28T20:19:00.000+08:00

Still in depression. Yes I have to admit to still crying over him, and grieving over broken dreams, and having some resentments over several other things, and disappointments. But my heart has quietened down. However yesterday I had a miss call whilst out with SH, ... "unknown" caller, seems like from overseas. Could it be him? Sigh, that sets all the waves off again... just when the ripples have

23/01 . How do you mend a broken heart?

2007-01-23T18:12:00.000+08:00

I finally called him last night... after much wrestle..I just had to hear his voice again.Called... and he answered. The same cheerful voice. I love his voice and the way he speaks and expresses his feelings in his voice. But I guess, I don't always like what he has to say whenever the subject of Hani comes up.Sigh.I wonder if he realised that his love for me has been degenerating and weakening

22/01 - I just feel like dying

2007-01-22T19:30:00.000+08:00

There were only a few occasions in my life I really felt like dying and ending it all...Today is one of such.I didn't really stop crying last night.. came to the office with swollen eyes. Cried silently and secretly when I found myself alone.. just like right now.. but I wish I'm alone in the office. Was caught crying by someone and had to say I'm OK though she is so totally unconvinced. sigh..

17/01 . Seasons Finale - Cupcake Kitty Love

2007-01-17T13:17:00.000+08:00

How do I begin this post? Its the first post of 2007 and I've not been blogging since Nov-06. There's been good times and bad times since, mostly bad times. Paul has been the source of joy and the intoxicating addictive sweetness of love.... yet also he has been the source of pain far beyond my imagination... more becoz of his continuous entanglements with Hani and the "series of unfortunate

17/11 . Today

2006-11-17T17:48:00.000+08:00

Today.What can I say?Just can't take it anymore when he sent that last sms to me... totally confused and hurt and disappointed, I spent 40mins hiding and crying my eyes out at the office toilet, and somehow my disappearance triggered the concern of a colleague who thought she saw me crying when she passed me by on my way to the washroom.. Carol came and found me and coaxed me out of the cubicle.

14/11 . 360 nightmares once again

2006-11-14T21:25:00.001+08:00

Finally wept when everyone in the office has gone home.Due to everything... every brokenness I am feeling within me..Why can't I but help feeling that he has been withdrawing from me? Though his reasons has been mostly due to the physical exhaustion, but it is beginning to seem he can do or cope with less of me. It makes me feel as though I am high maintenance and he is tired of meeting my needs

14/11 . Dream a little dream

2006-11-14T15:10:00.000+08:00

The past whole month has been a really sweet dream. Cupcake was like a different man.... touching me and melting my heart all over again. He started reading up the blog, read up all the emails I sent him and began replying them one by one. I felt overwhelmed and utterly taken aback by his surge of persistence, tenacity and effort..It took me some time to let down my defences again and started

06/10 . One email from him and I'm staying. Urgh.

2006-10-06T10:01:00.000+08:00

One email from him melt me down and all my resolutions to leave crumbles -- even though the tone of voice in that mail seemed like he was pissed off, exasperated, exhausted and have the "fine, do what you want, take care" edge. I had wished for something more tender and sweet, perhaps.Am I so weak-willed? What's his magic? Was it the threat that he won't chase after me? Anyway, I have the feeling

05/10 . I have failed me and I failed him

2006-10-05T23:30:00.000+08:00

I failed.. utterly failed.I had wanted to hold through with those "words of wisdoms" but i have broken all of them.The first time in a long while he took the courage to be completely honest with me about Hani and the times they spend chatting and what they chatted about -- I blew up on him and said goodbye. I had promised him that I will never do that, because he had told me before he hestiate to

04/10 . Wisdom for my soul

2006-10-04T14:58:00.000+08:00

Today's the 2nd month anniversary of me and Paul's first meet.Sentimental person I am right?Anyway, so much has been happening and my days has been an extreme roller coaster ride. Slowly, I am beginning to feel tired of pain, jealousy, hurt and the whole package of negative emotions. Yet, the worse part of it... I can't blame another but the intensity of my emotions. I am becoming to believe I

10/09 . Is it time to be gone for good?

2006-09-10T02:20:00.000+08:00

Read something off Yahoo 360 that just made me wanna wrap up and run forever and ever, disappearing from all these people....I cannot handle it anymore...Him asking her if she misses him.. then her asking him back..Then him saying of course he misses her..and all those hugs and kisses and love comments ...and her saying he's so great...and then 2.30, what's happening at 2.30am?They are meeting

09/09 . Disappointment and the wait

2006-09-09T01:05:00.000+08:00

I really need to express my continual disappointment with him.Why?Why can't he just read my emails and send a reply?That morning when we chat... when I told him honestly about how very disappointed I am that he doesn't seem to have read my emails, he felt so sorry and bad he apologised and said he will fix it.. that immediately after the chat he will go and take a look at the emails I've been

07/09 . Still thinking of him

2006-09-07T12:49:00.000+08:00

Still couldn't stop myself thinking of him. Somehow. I guess he has impacted my life so deeply and every image of him, every word written & spoken by him has been deeply etched in my mind in my soul in my heart. It's gonna be really hard to detach myself if I ever want to.He said we're so entwined in our souls that he could not bear to see me hurt and his very first respond will be always to

06/09 . Devastation

2006-09-06T08:14:00.000+08:00

Chatted again this morning with him and my tears fall like rain when it dawned upon me that he truly is relating to me only as a soulmate & best friend and nothing further. I have not taken the term literally in all his mails, had put the thoughts on hold though my emotions went into gyrations last week. I had held on to the hope that his love for me is beyond friendship and strong as that of a

05/09 . Daily joy & the pangs of adjustment

2006-09-05T17:29:00.000+08:00

Change is the only constant, and when things or circumstances change, I need to adapt and adjust to changes, and coping with it the best way I can. Most of all, I must remind myself to be open and positive about changes, and be contented with what I still have, instead of whining about what I no longer hold.For the past 2 days, I have awaken early in the morning to chat with my BaoBei. And to me,

03/09 . Love even stronger

2006-09-03T14:14:00.000+08:00

So glad I could have that chat with him last nite.. it was really really precious... and he came online despite being fully exhausted and having a migraine running. How do you stop loving a man like that? (And no no no you don't you demon of cynicism, i resist you! Yes I can't be there to verify if he is really having a migraine haha but i will not allow any seeds of doubt here! GO

03/09 . Cupcake & Donut : 1 month Anniversary

2006-09-03T06:00:00.000+08:00

(WORK IN PROGRESS - TO BE CONTINUED)This day of last month is the first time we met face to face - 3rd August 2006. It has been ONE MONTH since, but boy it had felt like 1 whole year!!!!!!!!!The trip to meet him was a timely opportunity and filled with great anticipation amidst great impatience too! I had to fly to Norway for a business trip, and will stop over in London on my return trip for 3

03/09 . ENFJ? Me? OMG we're perfect match!!

2006-09-03T02:39:00.000+08:00

Did the test at another new site.. and the results thrown me off the chair.I'm an ENFJ!!! Not an ISFP??? Geeeezz.... my life is really getting more and more complicated!! sigh..... I am evolving... or I am really an ENFJ unsurpressed!!!! hahaha.. And the cutest thing is, my younger brother is also ENFJAnyway, these are the codes .. I'm going back to do it again, I'm still in denial.You Are An

02/09 . Turning desparate

2006-09-02T18:13:00.000+08:00

How do I fight pangs of jealousy?Whenever I see all the messages, cute and flirty, witty joyous funny in all his friend's sites, I see the comparison to my own deserted desolate ground. The person whose presence I wanted most is the most scarce. And even when he visits, he leaves only the mildest of comments. Not sure why he still puts up the pic of him & her in Paris too, did he do that to

02/09 . Fight with depression

2006-09-02T16:37:00.000+08:00

Sigh... so many thoughts today...Sucidal ones..Depressed ones..Hopelessness...OMG!!!!!I know I'm in depression. It is obvious. hahahaha.. OK, I know whenever I write, my humour and wit will still leave its marks and making this a lighter read.. what to do, it's a part of my personality, its my sense of humour that keeps me sane (.. or insane, bwahahahaha..).. and I bet that is also one reason

02/09 . You're still the one

2006-09-02T10:58:00.000+08:00

I think for the first time in my life I felt sorry for myself when another tells me happily about her upcoming wedding.A gal named Cindy whom i chatted briefly with early this year suddenly caught me online today on YM and chatted to me. Sharing a chinese love song that she's now learning to sing. Now I get it, hahaha.. she's gonna sing it for her wedding!!! I'm so daft!!! She even forwarded the

02/09 . A horrible horrible thought!

2006-09-02T08:50:00.000+08:00

OMG!!!Was actually asleep, but my brain was "working overtime".. and lots of thoughts were passing in my subconscious.. same as in dreaming. I know because I am aware its morning, my eyes are closed, I'm still in the state of sleeping and pulling up my blanket etc.. sigh.....Going through my mind are things he's been saying to me...The last bit that goes through.. before I was jolted up from my

02/09 . Storm over but darkness still looms

2006-09-02T03:23:00.000+08:00

Sighhhhhh.....At midnight I finally was able to chat with him again.. tears kept flowing at intervals, it hurts so much to love him, and it melts my heart each time when he said he loves me. There is always such sincerity, that it is impossible to doubt, impossible to be cynical, impossible to resist. Or am I just a sucker? Then so be it, then let me live my whole life believing it.And I was glad

31/08 . Yes, news from him at last but....

2006-08-31T20:51:00.000+08:00

The sleeping pill i took seemed to work. I woke in the afternoon. HAHA! Actually, i woke in the morning, and head spinning, feeling drugged, hence sent a message to the office that I'm taking half day off.Got in to the office and to my surprise, an email from him.Tears flow from my eyes as I read those words, no matter how light hearted he had tried to make it sound. It is clear that he will not

31/08 . Verge of giving up

2006-08-31T00:35:00.000+08:00

Just ate a sleeping pill... Xanax.. label says, "Help to relax, anti-anxiety and anti-stress" -- just what I need. Supposed to take half, I pop the whole thing and down it with water. I think I need to be totally knocked out to stop all those thoughts and emotions.Mum cooked dinner tonight, and I came home from work late... well... correction: Came home from office late. Have not done much work,

30/08 . Facing my darkest fears

2006-08-30T18:26:00.000+08:00

Love hurts. It hurt so bad I feel I could die. Everytime when the pangs come I feel I can't go on for another minute. And each time I read his last email to me about his decision to halt the special frienship till the far future, till he can commit fully to me.... I just feel the ripping of my heart. And I don't know... if things will ever be the same after this break. When the brain fails to

30/08 . Silence is not always golden

2006-08-30T10:53:00.000+08:00

These few days I felt like a little lost ant who can't find its home... searching around frantically and aimlessly... and feeling so scared and insecure all by myself in a world so big.I guess I've never realised how much he meant to me... the full extent of it, I mean. I know he meant a whole lot to me, but the boundaries have never been tested, hahaha.. OMG I shiver at the thought of how much I

30/08 . Am I still worthy of his love?

2006-08-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

Couldn't sleep.. kept thinking of self-destructive thoughts and crying.Woke up to read blogs... and realised Hani's blog is gone.. so is her friendster account. What have I done? Sigh... It was a happening place where friendships are forged. Overnight 2 person deleted their accounts.. how much more blood is on my hands?Saw these beautiful wise words off a blog :(1) Always have positive thoughts

29/08 . ^-^ Feeling more cheered up

2006-08-29T23:05:00.000+08:00

Exchanged a few sms with him today after work... and felt cheered up. He still loves me (... just as a friend??..) and wanna keep me in his life (.. as a friend??...). And I like how he will punish me later (kekeke..) - he might be joking, but I would love to fulfill it, sounds like great fun. (Hahaha OK .... hey something's wrong here -- if it is fun, then is it still a punishment?)Sigh, though

29/08 . A taste of my own medicine

2006-08-29T21:52:00.000+08:00

My tears flow non-stop when reality hit me that he is no longer on my friendster list.. because he deleted his whole account.. and that he has deleted me from his Yahoo 360 (along with everyone else). Though I know his reasons for doing so, and though he had informed me of what he had done.. somehow I was not prepared for the impact of it all.Now I know how it felt like, when I removed him from

28/08 . Dooms Day For My First Love?

2006-08-28T05:27:00.000+08:00

My heart is in turmoil, as I sit in wait for my judgement. For the first time in my life, I felt like I've been a villian... a moment of mischief erupted a volcano.. or in his words.. setting off a hornet's nest and caused the severance of a long term friendship and love between 2 person.. and the ripple effect, the repurcussions... the end of the growing romance between me and him.I dread to

27/08 . Poem: The Most Precious Thing

2006-08-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

For Cupcake ...I wish these very words were penned by me... but... I'm not that creative.. However, it does represent the message of my heart today.I love you.~ Tigger ~The Most Precious Thingby Taylor HiigliYou are the most precious thing,in my life today.You mean more to me than anyone else,and I hope you’re here to stay.What I feel for you lies deep,deep within my heart.The amount of love you

27/08 . Advice on LDRs

2006-08-27T23:34:00.000+08:00

Came across this advice... from www.Lovingyou.com ...I guess I could really use some good advice to keep me sane!!!!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ http://www.lovingyou.com/content/advice/ldr/long distance relationships"And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." --Kahlil GibranLong distance relationships require a special willingness and

25/07 . TIGGER

2006-07-25T13:32:00.000+08:00

A month ago, the sweetest guy on earth (to me) did a write-up on me in his blog. It was so candid and well written I was stunned and surprised at how he had described me... sigh.. of course it instantly melted my heart.The funny thing is.. at that point, he is just a friend and a soulmate to me. Period. I never thought further than that, never dared to.. but I do think the world of him. And at

24/07 . Poem : I Carry Your Heart With Me

2006-07-24T20:34:00.000+08:00

For cupcake..A poem I like very much. First heard it from the movies "In Her Shoes", and felt deeply moved by it :I CARRY YOUR HEART WITH MEBY EE CUMMINGSI carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)I want no world (for beautiful you

05/07 . Hurt

2006-07-05T04:31:00.000+08:00

At 4am in the morning I'm writing this.. I guess this is another milestone in my life, in the negative sense.Just learnt how deceitful people can be with their words.... the guy whom I was head over heels with... he told someone I'm driving him crazy with my sms, and that I mean nothing to him, he honestly don't care, plus that I know he have no feelings for me. Yet in the daily sms's, he would

01/07 . Afraid

2006-07-01T19:25:00.000+08:00

I'm afraid.Afraid I've fallen in love again.The more I know him, the more I like him and feel attracted to him.Met him twice so far, and each time I felt so different when I'm around him. Something about him that made me feel special.. hmmmm.. chemistry? But Chemistry should be double-way. So maybe its just his pheramones, LOL!!At first its just a puppy crush, then now, I think I really do have

29/06 . Such is life

2006-06-29T15:49:00.000+08:00

Never thought I'd get my heart all confused and broken so fast.Never thought I'd cry so much over all these and feel such pain.But such is life.You can't have everything you desire, you can't have everything work the way you want it to. You can't have every man you love!But I am very grateful for the friends that I have.Friends who know me so well, they are able to detect the slightest naunces

26/06 . Going Dutch again! False alarm...

2006-06-26T13:59:00.000+08:00

OK. Got news today confirming that meeting will be on 4th-6th July, this time at the Amsterdam city itself. Sounds like it will be a get-to-know-everybody and here's-your-share-of-the-work for the International team following the merger of 3 businesses.I'm booked to depart Sunday 2nd July night, and arriving on the 3rd. Will have a whole day to myself upon arrival. All flights back to Singapore

23/06 . Still a Type 4. Oh well~

2006-06-23T23:43:00.000+08:00

Took the 9 Types test again, because I was telling a friend about it. The last time I took it was perhaps early this year... yep, still emerge as a Type Four. hahaa.. How come I'm not surprised anymore?OK the results :__________________________________________________Main TypeOverall SelfEnneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism36%Type 2Helpfulness61%Type 3Image Focus55%Type

22/06 . EXOTICA!!! Yum Yum!

2006-06-22T22:32:00.000+08:00

YeeeeeeeHHaaaaaAAAArrrrrHHH~!!!!!Went to an EXOTICA show Tuesday night (20 June), at Clarke Quay, Gotham Penthouse.First learnt about it when I got an email about a month ago from the school (The Body Talks) where I took a 3-lesson Bachata Dancing class. Hehehe.. thought it was interesting and forwarded to a few of my galpals! I am afraid to go alone, yet would love to gain some interesting new

22/06 . Debt Free at last!!

2006-06-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

At last!!!! AT LAST AT LAST AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Finally I paid mum the final FINAL installment of S$2000 yesteday upon getting my June salary, and brought my years of debt to an end! My debt level was at a high of S$45K at one point and I've been using more than 80% of my monthly salaries just paying debts alone (to 12 different bank credit accounts) for the past 8-9 years!!! Mum found out

17/06 . What Can We Give?

2006-06-17T00:14:00.000+08:00

Read this off a friend's blog. A good reminder for myself, sigh... Have been so pre-occupied with myself lately that perhaps, I might have really neglected to offer these gifts to the people in my life, or people in general :What Can We Give?Fifteen special gifts you can give anytime--and that don't cost a cent!By Hal UrbanWhen we give our time we give our lives. It’s the foundation of these

12/06 . Juz some clouds of thoughts...

2006-06-12T15:38:00.000+08:00

Sigh.. I just donno what to make of all these anymore.This morning as I read those messages, I feel pangs going through my heart. Almost like siezures. Another emotional attack? Sigh.. I still think it is highly attributed to the emotional baggage spilled over from the Captain Hook episode. I tried so hard to be careful with my heart but yet I'm so highly sensitive now that I hate it.Cried this

10/06 . I'm so full of shit!

2006-06-10T12:53:00.000+08:00

Can't believe it. I'm still purging on and off. Nope, still have not dragged my ass over to the doctor's.... because I found some charcoal pills (expired, by the way) and ate them. Condition will stabalise for a while, and then the rounds will start again. Looks like it is not food poisoning.Hmmm..... then what can it be? Germs? Where're did I get it from?I'm suspecting the frozen strawberries

10/06 . Meet my toes, kekeke..

2006-06-10T02:34:00.000+08:00

My toes are laughing, can you see? hehehehe...Took this pic last week because I was so pleased with the nail job. I love this color, its call "Lure him in" .. or something like that. hahahahaha... even nail colors have sexy names!Went pedicure with ET ...er... was it 2 weeks ago? Paid S$28 for it I think. Well, I don't indulge in such luxury often, but yet needed to because I'm simply not

09/06 . Life goes on...

2006-06-09T20:48:00.000+08:00

Life Goes On....Have been doing more self-searching...The fact still stands that I can't help being enthusiastic over the new people in my life, that's me - though the excitement is not usually extended to everybody, but to those who greatly intrigued me or who were unusually kind and sweet to me, who brought me sunshine in my darkest moments - and I just couldn't help but be a silly little puppy

08/06 . Prrrrbbboootttt.. Splatter.. Splash!

2006-06-08T23:13:00.000+08:00

I lost some weight today!!!! Wahahahaha!~Donno what I ate wrong yesterday, but since 1pm today I've been purging on-and-off and then every half hour 3-4 times in smaller volumes.. till just 15mins ago I was still running to the loo, keeping the toilet bowl active. The condition seemed to be getting worse. Oh dear~ I was hoping it'll stop once the load is over.Hmmm.... wonder how much weight loss

07/06 . Up Down Left Right??

2006-06-07T23:49:00.000+08:00

Oh I love my bunch of colleagues, they are so much fun to be with.Almost daily, we will walk to the hawker centre, pack our lunch back to the comfort of the office, sit down at the pantry table and eat together. As we eat, we will just talk about anything under the sun and the topics can go really wild and funny, especially when they started to tease me, haahahahahahaha....So today as usual, they

06/06 . What a jerk!!!

2006-06-06T12:30:00.000+08:00

Arrrrrrgggghhhh! I'm so pissed off by this guy Eugene!!! WTF??!!!!! I can't believe I've been so patient with him, and I guess today is the last straw. SOME GUYS ARE JUST PURE JERKS! And He's the first I've personally encountered. Grrrrrrrrr....SO..........Who the hell is he??? Ok, I don't know too, but I'll tell you the little which I know. *lets out steam from ears*Few weeks ago, he added me

05/06 . Awww~.. so romantic.. meow~

2006-06-05T20:53:00.000+08:00

Hehe... so nice eh this pic? Grabbed it from a friend.Note the words of the "poem", hahahahaha.. that's what friends are for?!!I LOVE IT!!!!!!

04/06 . Pitter Patter Pittie Parttie

2006-06-04T21:14:00.000+08:00

One of my favourite sports is SURFING.Yes, surfing the channels on TV, hur-hur, lame yes I know, hehehee...OK, was surfing channels and watching TV to kill time earlier and saw the Desparate Housewives trailer, OMG! Hmmm... I just think its so sexy when a man presses a woman against the wall with his body and strong hands, and then kiss her with raw passion till she's all jelly and erm.. hot -

29/05 . Time-Out for Romance

2006-05-30T03:28:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna take my mind off dating and romance for the season... Yeah~ It's time for the lake of my heart to be given some peace, to let the ripples settle... to let it return to it's state of serenity.Was out this evening for a movie with a friend, and on the way back, she told me about a guy she got to know recently and the possibility of it turning into friendship with possibilities... she was

22/05 . OH~ mmmamaamia!! Help!!!

2006-05-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

Baby Dave was over at our place last Saturday on the 6th. Upon arrival, he was rather .. erm.. in a not so happy baby mood, probably due to the warm humid weather...Mum was in the midst of getting some things ready for the baby, and I have been tasked with MISSION IMPOSSIBLE : entertain the baby!!!!So I did.I took him.. and brought him to my room... show him around and try to interest him with "

07/05 . Happy Mother's Day!

2006-05-07T16:19:00.000+08:00

Dearest Mummy,Today is Mother's day!!!!! and I wanna tell you this :I love ya, Mummy!Thanks for all that you've done for me.....I have been a great source of worry for you, and have caused you much pain. I really wish I could make you truly happy for me and be free of anxieties that kept you sighing for me.Thank you for the S$50,ooo (and more) that you've loaned to help me through the most

06/05 . Fat Cat named Tweetie

2006-05-06T14:54:00.000+08:00

Heh Heh Heee... found my look alike ..Awwwww..... wish this cat's mine! I'm naming it after moi!~*hug hug hug .. pat-pat... koochi koochi kooo...I MUST have a cat of my own in this life time. I MUST.Tweetie the fat cat *purrrrr...rrr.r.rrrrr

01/05 . Awww... How sweet~

2006-05-01T19:41:00.000+08:00

Aint they sweet? It made me wanna be this kitty.. and hopefully my man the doggie. hehehehe.... It's kind of romantic, this picture.Gee.. am I in heat again?

01/05 . Just some Blah Blah Blah...

2006-05-01T19:33:00.000+08:00

Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Blah Blah Blah...Hehehehehe...Yes, I'm absolute absolutely bored.I'm supposed to be clearing the rubbish from my room and cleaning it up this long weekend, but I've spent it so passively dozing and watching TV or

01/05 . I'm back!!!

2006-05-01T16:32:00.000+08:00

My dear dear friends who have been my blogders (blog-readers),First of all, forgive me for shutting down the blog for a while, and also changing the url name. I have made the mistake of letting a guy - whom I've gotten emotionally involved - into my blog. He loved the way I wrote, and hence I was eager to let him read my blog too. BIG MISTAKE. He practically reads it daily and and left my blog as

29/04 . Memoirs of 3 shoes

2006-04-29T04:08:00.000+08:00

EH? What's that???? ... hmmmm...Wahahahahahaha...!!!3 old shoes were found somewhere on a pavement .. in Singapore.. around 3am... far away from home -- with just one side each - Hmmm.... I wonder why???? Did they belong to a jerk? Were they abandoned and left cold out on a shelf after they've served their master faithfully? Hmmm.... perhaps they've been abused and hence some kind folks decided

22/03 . Aches...Heart aches

2006-03-22T03:21:00.000+08:00

It's aching.. oh, aching so much.. my heart.And it has been crying silent tears. I no longer feel happy, at least not recently. My spirits have been low, and each time I think of him, aches just grip my heart, and frustrations and negativity fills me.Why?Why does it become like this? I miss the times we had in the beginning, it was so much fun to chat online. He is so witty and funny and

10/03 . Baby David Glamour Shots by CrazyAunt

2006-03-10T19:06:00.000+08:00

Hehehe... just could not resist being a silly Aunt. Some recent shots of Baby David, (now coming to 3 months old in 10 days' time) when he came over to our house for the afternoon :Awwww... so cute~ I hope he would be VERY amused to see these pics when he grows up, kekekeke....

03/03 . Pig sighting @ Lau Pa Sat

2006-03-03T02:33:00.000+08:00

Went Lau Pa Sat with Bir last Sunday! Bir was craving for grilled sotong and after considering a few places, we've finally decided on LPS. I really can't remember the last time I was there for dinner, but definitely a long long long time ago!!Met up with Bir at Raffles Place MRT and found our way there... erm.. effortlessly. Heh! LTA or MRT or whoever did a great job with the signs, and plus my "

02/03 . YES!! I've got a job!!!! I will be "HR Excusetive"!!

2006-03-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

Wahahahahhahaa!!!!!! I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO Happy!!!!! Yes I finally got a job! A permanent JOB!!!I received an sms yesterday from Carol the Consultant to inform me that the fishing company had positively wanna hire me - and me being the ONLY person they've interviewed - and they are offering me the pay at $500 less than my previous-most-highest pay, which is S$1000 more than my last pay as a

28/02 . A New Door to an unknown path... Should I?

2006-02-27T21:03:00.000+08:00

As some of you might have been informed personally by me... I did not get the job with the telecommunications company. I was rather pissed, in fact, that the lady had not called me early that week as promised. Instead, I waited till Wednesday night to send her an sms to ask if she has any news for me yet... and the next day's late afternoon I finally got a hasty respond from her, that another

26/02 . Blindly Bored

2006-02-26T18:12:00.000+08:00

Heh heh... was out with mum for lunch on last Friday 24th Feb. We went to Raffles Marina and had a really nice time dining. It was one of those "moments" you need to create with your love ones, one-to-one. And such times are rare... and it was possible because I'm out of job, and have been idling at home. We sat at the porch area, overlooking the marina or sea, and ordered Clam Shellfish Chowder

14/02 . I'm freakin' Type FOUR. I admit it, I admit it..

2006-02-14T19:43:00.000+08:00

Sigh.... I give up. I must have taken this test (and other Enneagram test formats) at least 10 times, and so far, I've surfaced as a Type FOUR no matter how many times I retake the tests. ARGH. Just can't face it that I'm a type four.Also, it is now in this order : Type 4, 2, 7, 9, ...The last time I took this test (see previous blog post of 22 Nov 05), the result was : 2, 4, 9, 5, ... Oh

13/02 . When one door closes, another hole opens

2006-02-13T10:54:00.000+08:00

This morning my boss told me that they're gonna get the new person to start on Thursday, hence effectively I'll come in to the office till Wednesday, because they'll need my laptop back and I need to vacate the workstation to make way for her. However, I'll still be paid till Friday (my original last day) - i.e. I'm being paid to go on holiday. hehehehehe...I have mixed feelings.When I've been

12/02 . Orange Tossing Fun!

2006-02-12T20:28:00.000+08:00

About a week ago, someone asked me if I'd like to join her and a few friends to toss oranges into Singapore River. Of course I said YES!!!!!! SOUNDS LIKE fun!!!!! Then I scratch-scratch my head and ask... Eh? but what izzit for? ijjitt legal??? hur-hur-hur... and so I learn that no, its not legal and we'd probably be fined or jailed for littering... *gulp* .. and wahahaha... she said, no worries,

12/02 . My first taste of podcast entertainment

2006-02-12T15:55:00.000+08:00

Hahahahaha... WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...~~!!!I had the MOST ENTERTAINED 24 minutes today as I listened to a web podcast of Mr Brown and Miyagi. I've read about it in blogs but have never heard it. It's actually like a radio recording of 2 DJs talking about everything under the sun and jabbing at current issues happening around Singapore or on news (think Joe Augustine & Flying Dutchman). It is so damn