14/02 . I'm freakin' Type FOUR. I admit it, I admit it..

Sigh.... I give up. I must have taken this test (and other Enneagram test formats) at least 10 times, and so far, I've surfaced as a Type FOUR no matter how many times I retake the tests. ARGH. Just can't face it that I'm a type four.

Also, it is now in this order : Type 4, 2, 7, 9, ...

The last time I took this test (see previous blog post of 22 Nov 05), the result was : 2, 4, 9, 5, ... Oh Well.

Now a NEW FACTOR "Type 7" has emerged as the top 3.. and yeah... I do agree. This explains the recent love for partying, drinks and wines and ports etc.. hehehe (Type 7 : I must be high and entertained to be happy). But I do mourn for type 9 traits which seems to be pushed further away... My life is changing, I guess - a change in lifestyle and purrrrrrhaps, my outlook on life and what's really important.

Anyway, the test results proper :

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type_score_type behavior motivation

4__ 43__ I must avoid painful feelings to be happy.
2__ 40__ I must be helpful &caring to be happy.
7__ 34__ I must be high &entertained to be happy.
9__ 33__ I must be peaceful & easy to get along with to be happy.
3__ 28__ I must be impressive and attractive to be happy.
5__ 27__ I must be knowledgable and independent to be happy.
1__ 26__ I must be perfect and good to be happy.
6__ 19__ I must be secure and safe to be happy.
8__ 13__ I must be strong and in control to be happy.


Main Type = Type 4
Fours are unique and create their own distinct culture. They experience the highs and lows of life intensely. They take great pride in their esthetic tastes. Fours often feel like misplaced children and they long for a sense of real family

Overall Self : sp/so/sx
Overall, you score highest on withdrawn traits (sp), followed by compliant traits (so), and lowest on assertive traits (sx).

Main Type	Overall Self

Scale (%) results:

Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism 37% Type 2 Helpfulness 57% Type 3 Image Focus 41% Type 4 Hypersensitivity 61% Type 5 Detachment 38% Type 6 Anxiety 27% Type 7 Adventurousness 49% Type 8 Aggressiveness 18% Type 9 Calmness 47% Your main type is 4 Your variant is self preservation

Here's the "result" and summary of the same test I took from TICKLE.COM :

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Type 4 - The Expressive

Friends, family, and colleagues likely appreciate you for this honest and expressive way of being. They're also apt to know that when they come to you with a problem, you'll offer them gentle, tactful advice, rich with examples from your own experience. As an Expressive, you're likely to be seen as someone who is strong in your own identity and in your perspective on life.

Being a member of this type puts you in good company. Singer/songwriter Sarah McLachlan, with her evocative, personal lyrics, and Bob Dylan, with his distinctive and poetic voice, are also Type 4s.

This means that compared to the eight other Enneagram types, you possess a strong sensitivity as well as a powerful creativity. Although you can often be introspective, that doesn't keep you from forming deep emotional connections with the people and places around you. In fact, your ability to search from within may just enrich your compassion and understanding.

Additional info on Type 7 :

Type 7 - The Adventurer
This means that compared to the eight other Enneagram types, you have a strong sense of adventure and spontaneity. In fact, you're the kind of fun-loving, multi-talented individual who tends to seek excitement and stimuli around every turn.

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Oh well, I'm still on a quest to self-discovery...

Yes, I do admit that I'm rather obsessed with these personality tests....

So here's some general overview of a Type 4 :

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The Romantic (the Four)
Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

World View: Something's missing. Others have it. I'm different from them because I don't.
Basic Desire: to understand self (wahahahaha.... now I know why I'm always doing tests)
Basic Fear: of being defective




Healthy loop controlled by Basic Desire:
Need for self-understanding -> examine self -> understand themselves -> Need for self-understanding
In the healthy state, the need for self-understanding induces Type Fours to allow their emotions to surface and examine these emotions in order to understand themselves. When Fours achieve self-understanding, their need is satisfied and a balance is reached.

In the average state, when Fours' do not examine closely their emotions, they start to not understand themselves. This increases the need for self-understanding, which helps Fours to again examine themselves. Thus the balancing loop can help Fours to recover.


Unhealthy loop controlled by Basic Fear:
Fear of being defective -> indulge in fantasy -> understand themselves -> Fear of being defective
In the unhealthy state, the basic fear of being defective can cause Type Fours to ignore their true selves, allow their emotions to overwhelm them, and indulge in wild fantasy about themselves. This means they will understand themselves even less, and further increases Fours' basic fear. The cycle continues to build up.

Insight:
We can see from the diagram that a way to help break the control of the basic fear is to weaken the unhealthy loop. Fours can refrain from indulging in fantasy and start examining themselves. This will help Fours to understand themselves, and reduce the fear of being defective.


How to Get Along with Me

- Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
- Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
- Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
- Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
- Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being a Four

- my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
- my ability to establish warm connections with people
- admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
- my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
- being unique and being seen as unique by others
- having aesthetic sensibilities
- being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a Four

- experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
- feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
- feeling guilty when I disappoint people
- feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
- expecting too much from myself and life
- fearing being abandoned
- obsessing over resentments
- longing for what I don't have


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Yeah, I guess I need to admit to the above descriptions... quite a fair description of me. Oh well, now that I know more of me, I can love more of me. Huhuhuhur.... (yes, there's definitely MORE of me recently, I've increased significantly in body mass, Heh~).

And its also interesting that Type Fours have a fear of being abandoned. Is that why I want my relationship to end in marriage? And is that why when I sense that the person is not going to be able to "make it" to the destination (or is deemed unsuitable for the journey or destination due to my special "insights" and "intuitions") I fear and withdraw??? Because I need to avoid painful feelings to be happy?!? Woow... more to think about..

"I live to understand me, because I don't make any sense.." (HEH, and yes, I baffle others too - I had them frustrated and banging their heads on the wall - That's my talent~)!!!! teeheehee.....

So what are you gonna do with someone like me??? Well.... again I say:
Just love me, feed me and nebbber leave me... can? *_*