22/06 . Debt Free at last!!

At last!!!! AT LAST AT LAST AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally I paid mum the final FINAL installment of S$2000 yesteday upon getting my June salary, and brought my years of debt to an end! My debt level was at a high of S$45K at one point and I've been using more than 80% of my monthly salaries just paying debts alone (to 12 different bank credit accounts) for the past 8-9 years!!! Mum found out early last year and loan me S$30K to pay the banks off a large part of the debt, and after paying off the remaining of the debts, only the S$30k debt to mum remained. Hence I've been paying her S$2K monthly for the 15 months ... and FINALLY! YES!!!! I have finally repay in full to mum the outstandng amount of money!!!!!

Ohhhh... but not sure why... I still don't feel anything yet.. the emotions... - I should be really dancing and leaping with joy but I don't seem to feel anything!! I think it'll come later, the joy, the freedom of being debt-free will surely come later!

Today is so significant.
It's a day that I've been awaiting for ...
A dream that have finally come true.

Gosh, it has been almost 1o years.... It had seemed so impossible and I've been always praying for a miracle... there were such moments of quiet desparations and hopelessness and deep fear, which I have to keep secret from my love ones, especially my parents, where I weep in the wee hours of the night crying out for a miracle. I was so tired of the burden, so tired of juggling the debts and balances and expenses...

Today, it has finally came to pass.. Finally, the money I earn will no longer be someone else's or the creditor's money, it belong to me totally to do whatever I fancy, (net spendable income after deduction of all monthly utilities and payments of course!)
WOW~ Still can't believe it.....

Ok, there's still S$2000 that belongs to dad which I drew from the joint account (of me and dad) to meet some expenses due to the purchase of some services and stuff. But that money is actually for me, says dad, just in case anything happens to him and he's gone so he would have at least left me something.... (Sob, so touched). However, I have not inherited it yet, so I feel I don't wanna abuse it eventhough I know I have the permission to use it anytime. Nah, I don't think I want to start the bad habit of "borrowing", I should learn my lessons - yes painful ones - not to spend nor loan money to others beyond my means. Sigh...

There's also still the debts under my name (my accounts) of about S$1400 payable by OA, and S$11,000 payable by LY. OA's portion of debt would probably be closed by Feb-07... but LY's... Sigh... another few years at least! She's only paying S$400 per month into the account which still accumulate interests. Yet there's no way she could get more money or transfer the amounts to a credit account in her name because no banks are giving her any approvals due to her income level. If she decides to disappear and default payments, everything will be liable by me. I'll really be fucking screwed. As for OA, they're paying S$200 each month, and have promised to do it till they fulfilled the entire payment. Just another 7 months to go... I guess I can only take their words for it and hope they won't screw me too.

OK, but let me just focus on the JOY OF Being DEBT FREE again!!!!! YAY!!!!!

My heart still feels kind of heavy and apprehensive, and I'm still not sure of my financial outlook. But at least from now, I'll probably start to be able to have some savings... eventually, to be able to give my parents some cash, and reward myself once in a while with nice things in life. Hee..

However, I have agreed to take over Georgie's car for a period of time to help relieve the burden on car related expenses (he has a 2nd baby coming! need to budget!!!), and that would mean a hefty sum going into payment of the car and the running costs for me. Yet in a way, its a win-win situation... I get to fulfill another dream of having my own car! Wow, and that is also a dream since 1994 after I got my driver's licence. Anyway, hope I'll still have enough change to spare after paying for all these plus usual montly bills. Would really love to be able to go for a holiday... and not only that - to have $$$$$ to spend during the holiday too!!!

Right now, I'm just glad. Truly truly glad. :-)
Suddenly, I feel so emotional. Awwww... somebody gimme a hug.

Perhaps I'll celebrate next month when i get my new pay cheque!!! WOW!!!