17/01 . To V or not to V

Heez. First Class Procrastinator ~~ yeah, that's me. OOPS I DID IT AGAIN!

It's been 12 days (that's almost 2 weeks) since I last did any real blogging, and so much has been happening, and I have been so successful at ONE THING - Procrastinating. I've been dating and chatting and drinking and clubbing and getting interviewed for the job and putting on weight and putting off gym. YAH. and I have not been blogging.

This morning's weight has reached a new 61kg. ARGGGGH. GYM GYM GYM!!! I had to start GYM. But somehow, it just can't get started. DIET? yah, I tried. Had papaya juice for lunch one day, and that's all. And that night, I pigged out for dinner. So that failed too....

Anyway, I will try to recap and blog things down soon. My experiences with Rand has been interesting... from me being most shallow, to warming up to him and to getting high after drinks and kissed and held and touched - life has been exciting and interesting. No, he's not gonna be my first boyfriend yet. Though he is really really nice to me, I don't find myself really attracted to him. But there's no absolutes..... sigh... but I think I gotta slow things down a bit....... and not go into physical things too quick with any guy. Need to watch it and don't get too high or drunk while out on dates. *_* Any guy becomes delicious after a few drinks ~ hahahahaha

Was out tonight with a bunch of colleagues, and we had dinner at "Carnivore ", a Brazillian restaurant at CHIJMES. After dinner, I went Jazz@SouthBridge with 2 of the guys for drinks and music. During which, we discussed an interesting topic. I've been polling my guy friends on this subject and interestingly, their responses surprised me. I asked them "If you have to choose between 2 women, all else being equal, except for that one is a virgin (inexperienced in sex) and the other a non-virgin (experienced in sex), which woman would you choose? And you as a modern man, would you mind if the girl you're going out with is NOT a virgin (having sexual history with other men in ex-relationships)?". So far, of the 8 guys I posed this question to, only 1 said he would choose virgin, yet he will not mind if she is a non-virgin, because everyone has their past. Anyway, he's a Christian - and he shared that he used to sleep with his ex-girlfriends, but when he met his wife, he deeply respected her for keeping her virginity for him till they married.

And I had fully expected these 2 guys - one a Scottish, and the other a Canadian Chinese - to say they'd prefer experienced women and don't mind non-Vs. To my surprise, the Scottish said that he'll ABSOLUTELY choose the Virgin - bcoz virgins are the ultimate conquest. And its really funny when he elaborated on how ego-bruising it would be if you're dating a girl and your friend pulls you aside and tells you that he has slept with her before and tells you that there is nothing you will come to know about her that he already don't, or whether she's easy or good at certain techniques or blah blah blah... That is so refreshing, heh-heh, he told me that guys would go for the best cards and choose the virgin who would be the slut in bed for themselves only. The Canadian says he'll definitely prefer the virgin and so would 99.999999% of men !! - bcos even though a woman might be a virgin, that does not necessary mean that she won't be good in bed, she's only inexperienced but she can always be 'taught' to master sexual skills. But BOTH agrees that they won't mind a non-virgin at all, because its a given in this modern day society that most women are non-virgins at a certain age range. The rest of the men whom I've explored this topic with says they prefer experienced women because to them, sex is vital to the quality of the relationship, and sexual compatibility is important -- and you can only find out the compatability rate through sex activities blah blah blah.... and of course they do not mind a non-virgin.

Hmmmmm..... so.... if men no longer mind if the girl they're dating is a non-virgin, then why would a woman need to maintain her state of virginity when it is nolonger esteemed and valued or required? This needs deep consideration. In the past, during our fathers' days when policemen wears shorts, men will only marry virgins. Women will commit suicide if they've lost their virginity, or they might be denied their marriage by the future mother in laws if they were 'tested' to be non-virgins. Women are made to feel 2nd-class and not esteemed once they've lot their V-status. But TODAY.... it is a totally different paradigm. Women don't really have to fear rejection if they are nolonger a virgin. The only factor is whether their sexual history is deemed acceptable or non-acceptable. If she sleeps around with any men she met at the bar and with whomever's friends ... one night stands, no strings attached etc.. then her sexual history is not acceptable (says the Scottish guy) when it comes to considering her as a girlfriend or mate.

So, am I being stupid by wanting to keep it for the man who would marry me? I mean, I have viewed my virginity as "priceless" and as a "gift"... (but of course, also the fact that fornification is a sin in the sight of God) but if the men in society can't be bothered if I am still a virgin or not, and worse --they actually felt turn on and have preference for someone 'more experienced in bed', then wouldn't it be stupid and a waste of me to suppress my passion and sexual desires to "keep it till the end"? SIGH. What are the stakes in going into sexual relationship with a man whom you are mutually attracted to? Or even just for a fling (so as to know how sex is like)..... ??? Boy I am curious. And yes, I am seriously thinking of forgetting about all the sex-after-marriage rules and not eating the forbidden fruit. But also, NO WAY am I'm gonna lose my first time to any Tom, Dick or Harry. He definitely gotta be worth it. Muahahahhaa.... will have to choose my Alfa male. Hmmmm.... slurp slurp~

Anyway, that's just late night talk for me. No conclusion reached. For my dear friends who're reading this please do feel free to let me know your thoughts on this subject! ^^,

Will I still be a virgin by 31st December 2006? Woohoooooo......~ Maybe it won't even last past 14 Feb. WAH HA HA HA HA HA..... time for some dreaming.