27/08 . Advice on LDRs

Came across this advice... from www.Lovingyou.com ...

I guess I could really use some good advice to keep me sane!!!!

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http://www.lovingyou.com/content/advice/ldr/

long distance relationships

"And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." --Kahlil Gibran

Long distance relationships require a special willingness and understanding that can test love like no other type of relationship can. It requires constant communication and a desire to continually create your relationship, using the only real tool you have... your words.

Handling The Absence
One of the most difficult parts of a long distance or online relationship is handling the fact that you are not physically there with your partner. This lack of physical presence can make the whole relationship seem like an illusion. I am sure that almost every person in an LDR has wondered at some point about whether the relationship was actually real or just wishful thinking. With this in mind, it is very important to create a presence for yourself in your partner's life to provide a stable reality that you are a couple and that you are a part of one another.

Listed below are some ideas and resources to help you achieve this.

Communication
~ Don't fall out of touch, even for a short time
~ Return all e-mails at the earliest opportunity
~ If you are going out of town or are otherwise going to be unable to respond, let your partner know as soon as possible so they don't think something is wrong or start to have doubts.
~ Keep all online dates.

Talk regularly through voice chat or via the telephone
~ Your voice adds that touch of reality to the relationship and makes you more than just text on a screen


Video Chat if possible or at least send pictures regularly
~ Can you imagine how differently you would feel if you could actually see your partner when you talk to them? You can bet that they would feel the same. Rather than having to imagine how you looked when you laughed or smiled, they could actually see it.
~ It nullify's any of those doubts you have about whether they will like the way you look.

Get to know as much as you can about each other
~ Tell your partner about your day to day life, your friends, your relatives, your job etc. Make them feel like they are an integral part of your life. At the same time, find out as much as you can about them too

Be there when needed
~ One of the worst mistakes you can make in any relationship is to not be there for your partner when they need you. This is especially true of a long distance relationship as there are already inherent doubts and this will just reinforce those doubts.
~ Seek your partner's advice, listen to what they say and make them feel special and important to you.

Love
Love is the backbone of any relationship. As long as the other partner feels that you completely and unconditionally love them, those doubts will not have a chance to creep in. It is up to you to make sure they know exactly how you feel about them. Some

Presence
Make sure you have a presence in your partner's life. Continually reinforce the fact that you are there, that this relationship is real and there is no way that you are going to let a little thing like distance get in your way. If you do the things listed above, you will create a good presence in your relationship. Good luck!